Wrote this a while ago but I'm reposting in honor of my anniversary. Love you honey!!
Is it completely cheesy to say that my husband is my hero? Probably. But I am pretty sure that if you are going to be married to someone for the rest of your life that’s the way you should feel about them. What is amusing about this is that my husband fooled me. Yup. When we met under some interesting circumstances, that I may or may not save for another post, I was sure he was a bad boy. I had a bit of a bad boy problem. I liked them a little too much. So while I thought he was cute, I told myself he was exactly the kind of guy I needed to stay away from. After a friend pleaded his case I gave in and went out with him. Turns out he was a good guy in bad boy clothing. Looked like a bad boy, sometimes acted like one but on the inside? Yup, hero material. It’s a good thing too. Back in the day, I was too stupid to choose a good guy. Put me in a room with ninety-nine good guys and one bad choice? I’d pick the bad one every time.
So not everyone in my life had done the things that they said they were going to do. As a matter of fact, the majority of them had not. I was used to doing things for myself. I was pretty independent and learned at a young age that depending on other people usually led to disappointment. When I met Kevin it was strange. He called when he said he would. He showed up when he said he was going to. And miracle of miracles, on time. I thought I was the only one who was compulsively punctual. Turns out he’s even more compulsive about it than I am. But it wasn’t just that he was on time. When he said he was going to do something, he did it. He was a man of his word. This was something that I hadn’t really experienced before. It made all the difference to me. He thought I was important. He thought of me first. Who was this guy?
My mother loved him. Not exactly a plus in his favor back then. It made me suspicious. My mother didn’t like anyone. A total of 3 of my friends and never, ever anyone I dated. Loathing was the closest she got to like when it came to my boyfriends. Hmm. He was friendly to my parents too. What was that about? He showed up with long hair and a motorcycle and they loved him? What the heck? Told you he fooled me. He made a fuss over my Aunt who was like a grandmother to me. She loved him too but she loved men in general. He laughed off all her crazy behavior and actually liked to go visit her. Huh.
So I married him. I may be a little slow sometimes but I knew pretty quickly he was the one. We had a bit of whirlwind 2 years. Dated, married, had a baby. In the meantime, I had seen him stand up for people, be there for members of his family, be honest even when it didn’t paint him in the best light and he always, always spoke up when he thought something was morally wrong. He had the same black and white view of right and wrong I did and he didn’t back down just because it was uncomfortable. He helped other people. He was always there for his friends. I had surprisingly made a good choice.
Then my mom got sick. Her cancer had come back. I was nine months pregnant and my mom wasn’t going to make it. She had less than a year. It turned out to be six months. He drove me to my parent’s house every day on the way to work. He listened and let me cry all over him every day on the way home. He hates to see me cry and he will go to great lengths to prevent it but this time he just knew it was what I needed. He always seems to know just what the right thing to do is when I am struggling. Not sure how he does it.
There was one shining moment during this time. My mother was very ill and wasting away to nothing. Cancer is scary and not at all pretty. My husband who hates sickness, more than most people, would bring our baby daughter in to see my mom in the last days of her life. He would hold her up so my mom could see and touch her. He would talk to my mom like there was nothing wrong and as if it were any other day. My mom would smile and pet our daughter. That’s when I knew for sure. When other members of my family wouldn’t even step foot in the room, he showed me how much he loved me. He put himself aside and thought of me and my mom. Who was this amazing man and why did he want to be married to me?
I am still not sure about the answer to that question. Is he perfect? No. Does he drive me crazy? You bet he does and there are many times he enjoys it, like a favorite pastime. But as my mother used to tell me, I’m not the easiest person to live with either. I have the better end of this deal by far. He is an amazing husband, father, and man. He is the one person on this earth that I know I can count on. Is he a hero? Yes, he is. For so many reasons. I know that Kevin wouldn’t hesitate to lay his life down for me or his children were it necessary but that isn’t the thing that puts him in the hero category. It is so much more than that. He lays down his life over and over again every day for his family. Today we've been married twenty-four years. I am looking forward to many more with him. Who wouldn’t want to be married to their hero?
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” John 15:13
I would love to hear your hero stories! Post them in the comments.
Candi Lewis says
Wow…that is so touching. Why did you have to go and make me cry. Super sweet. Congratulations on 22 years and may there be many more. I love you guys. You are truly an amazing couple and wonderful friends. Thank you for that!!!
Elena Dillon says
Well I am a lucky girl! He is the best husband. We love you and your kids bunches. xoxoxo
Doris Jayasinghe says
Oh my gosh!!!! I’m the friend that talked you into going out with him. I just heard about your books. Congratulations to you.
Elena Dillon says
Yes you are! So good to hear from you! How are you? xoxoxo
Annah Elizabeth says
“He lays down his life over and over again every day for his family.”
What a beautiful tribute to your husband! Congratulations on 24 years! And, YES, Cheers to many more!!
This is the letter I wrote to my hero hubby last year, on our 24th. http://thefivefacets.blogspot.com/2013/06/our-roots.html
Thank you for sharing this wonderful man and your life with us!
Celebrate! 🙂
Annah Elizabeth recently posted..Mountains of Love
Elena Dillon says
I loved your post as well. Almost twenty five for you now! A great accomplishment.
I feel so blessed to have Kevin and I need to tell him more often how fabulous he is. I hate that I take him for granted so often. He loves me anyway. I’m not sure why but I shouldn’t wait til our anniversary to tell him. Thanks for commenting!
Annah Elizabeth says
Elena,
I think most (if not all) of us struggle to keep thankfulness and gratitude and happiness at the forefront of our thoughts.
As you commented, this marriage is far from perfect, with imperfections on each side…and boy have we had our struggles! I actually write that piece after some serious hardships in iut marriage, during a time I was struggling with staying married or calling it quits… I realized one day that I was spending far too–as in most of–my time focused on the negative events that had brought me so much pain, and I wanted to restructure my mindset… 🙂
Thanks for reading, for your kind comments, and for sharing. 🙂
Suzanne Fluhr says
My husband and I are closing in on our 32nd anniversary. I am grateful every day that he picked me and that I had enough sense to give him a chance. (I had my bad boy phase too. Shudder.) Our marriage has been a comfort—a port in the storm of life. We’ve recently had some stark reminders not to postpone joy.
Suzanne Fluhr recently posted..“If You Want to Make God Laugh, Tell Him about Your Plans” — Carpe Diem Edition
Elena Dillon says
I get you there. We’ve had some of the same reminders here. And of course empty nest brings you closer. Congrats on 32!! So great. Thanks for commenting!
Diane says
This is one of the most inspiring and beautiful tributes I’ve ever read. Absolutely beautiful. Crying . . .
Diane recently posted..Dad Date
Donna Cavanagh says
This was a lovely and loving post. You are lucky to have found your wonderful soulmate. Congrats!
Donna Cavanagh recently posted..On the Road Again