I have horrible stage fright. I’ve had it my whole life. You know the kind I’m talking about. The shaking, turning white, and instantly sweating through my shirt kind of stage fright. I hate public speaking and being the center of attention. Last year when Breathe won the RONE award and I had to walk up on stage to accept? Terrified. I tried to convince my husband to go up there for me.
Thankfully they had a cover model to walk me across the stage. Why do they make you do these things all dressed up? I would have done better in my sweats and Free Runs. My knees were knocking. I didn’t even know that was a real thing.
By the time I said my brief thank you in front of three hundred people and made it to the back of the room, I was crying and shaking. I must have looked like a complete disaster because one of the volunteers back there gave me a hug and let me stand with her until I could make it back to my seat safely in my high heels.
So fast forward to last month when Beth Yarnall, a friend and fabulous author, asked me to do a reading of Breathe. In front of people. Uhhh. Now here’s the thing, I hate being scared of anything. As a child I was afraid of everything and it held me back from doing so many things.
Since becoming an adult I have done a lot of things that scared me. On purpose. I don’t ever want fear to hold me back or keep me from doing something important. So I said yes. I think the fact that the date was a month away probably helped. I just didn’t think about it.
Guess what? Today’s the day. I’m going to be reading an excerpt of Breathe at Lady Jane’s Salon in Orange County along with some other really fabulous authors: Brenna Aubrey, Jewel Quinlan and GVR Corcillo. I am happy to be in such good company but still terrified.
I know this will be a good thing for me and in some ways I’m excited about it. Fear is only useful to keep you from walking down dark alleys at night. Not for keeping you from moving forward towards a goal. So off I go to Orange County to hopefully not completely embarrass myself or Beth. I’ll report back and let you know how I did!
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Oh my goodness, Elena, I had NO idea!! You acted so composed and professional when you walked across the stage and accepted your award last year!! Kudos for the best acting chops of the night – and to conquering your fears because, with your talent, you will probably be seeing many more opportunities!
Thank you TJ! I’m glad you couldn’t tell but I was so scared! I had a great time though and I’m hoping to feel the same about tonight. Gotta make yourself do these things right?
As a 16 year old, I had to play a solo Telemann sonata on the recorder in front of judges and an audience in a competition in England. One of my legs felt like it was shaking uncontrollably. (I was standing). I was hyperventilating — not good when trying to play a wind instrument. I got through it — somehow. I think forcing yourself to do it will give you confidence. I suspect the reading will be easier. At least you can read! Another solution is to try a low dose of inderal (propranolol)to keep your heart rate under control which supposedly make one feel less anxious. I’ve never personally tried it. Obviously, it should be prescribed by a physician. BTW, good luck at the reading.
Suzanne Fluhr recently posted..Hawaii Quilt Guild Show: E Ho’onanea I Ka Mili Kapa
Thank you! It went very well. You were a brave young girl. I don’t think I could have done that at that age! Go you!
Yeah, I was paralyzed by stage fright. Then I got the not-so-brainy idea of selling things at home parties and realized, belatedly that I’d have to stand in front of people and . . . talk. But I did it. And it helped. Now, I can blather on in front of anyone. Maybe we were all better off before . . .
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I do really well one on one or small groups but the minute I’m in the spotlight in front of a large group, eeek! It actually went very well. Thanks so much for the support!
Elena,
Oh my goodness! I don’t think it matters how many times I speak in front of people I am really nervous! Just last week I was asked to speak before our school board and my right leg was shaking so badly I was sure I was going to send the podium flying!
But I agree with you, I let fear hold me back from so many opportunities growing up that I refuse to cave into it anymore. Kudos on living your best life!!
Hope the reading went swimmingly!!
It went well! Thank you so much. Hearing everyone else’s stories was so helpful. I really appreciate it. =)
Glad it went so well!
Stage fright is horrible when you get a dry throat and sweaty palms. But once your up there the nerves die down and the more you get into your act the more confident you come.